LIVE THE WAY YOU WANT TO LIVE BUT DON’T BE A CREEP

06.07.04


Throughout the last years I’ve been trying to justify the behaviour of people all the time, not for the purpose of pretending to be a saint or something but because I figured out how difficult it is, in the end, to be based on your senses in order to be something more than just a survivor. I had to overcome tons of difficulties in order to be the guy who you ‘read’ now. No matter how much I longed for it, no fairy was found in front of me to touch me with her magic little stick and make me a strong and compassionate person.

There were times when I spoke very badly of those who believe in God. I thought that they were stupid and intend to drag more people to their stupidity. Although I haven’t changed my opinion regarding God, I have an honestly deep respect for those who are religious, because I regard this as their way to pull through. Consequently, I have no right to tell them how to come up against difficulties and so on. If their faith helps them become better people, that’s fine. If, despite their faith in God, they are creeps, then nobody and nothing are to blame than more than their bloody mind.

Likewise, if Stelios draws power from being exposed on television, that’s fine as well. He and anyone else. I can’t accuse anybody of such things. This is not me. After all, I reckon that the whole issue starts from the family once again. This specific person might not have been as much loved and appreciated from his parents as he was worth or he might have received those feelings in the wrong way. Maybe many parents find that television is a way to evaluate their intelligence and their skills or the intelligence and the skills of their children. They might think, for example: ‘If you are on television, you are worth a lot; if you’re not, then you’re worth of nothing.’.

YOU WILL HAVE TO SEE OUR IMAGE WHETHER YOU WANT IT OR NOT!

I had a short conversation with my colleague, Angeliki. She says: ‘Who was that kid sitting last night with the National Team players?’. I answer: ‘He’s not a kid, he is Stelios Kybouropoulos, a big brute who has received distinctions for his record in mathematics’. She goes on saying: ‘I felt sorry for him sitting like that in his weakness with the huge guys of our National Team. Why on earth did they put him there! It looks as if they were doing him a favour or something.’. I tell her: ‘I don’t know about that but if you fell sorry for him, then it’s your problem, because he is definitely not a guy to feel sorry for’. All right, we all know that many Greeks are narrow-minded when they think of people with a disability like heroes, as if we have other choices of living; as if everything that we manage to do is the result of the so-called ‘problem’; as if someone with less mobility must definitely have less mental strength.

This is why I am irritated, ladies and gentlemen, when someone admits that he/she admires me. To me, this sounds like feeling sorry. Whoever wants to admire me should refer only to my education, my urge of creativity and all that without relating those things to my disability. I am the only one who has the right to do that, because I am the only one who knows how I cope with it. Some times I take advantage of people’s admiration, since I can really be a creep myself. Likewise, Stelios might have asked himself to sit with the players, knowing that everybody would do him the favour. Good for him! Nothing was wrong anyway.

On the other hand, if someone feels sorry for people like Kybouropoulos or even like me, should we probably re-examine the case of who is finally the disabled one? Probably, right? Okay, most people are not used to seeing the different person. We’ve had enough of excuses. It’s time to get used to the truth. From that point of view, congratulations to Stelios who intentionally comes out exactly as he is. As for those who judge him, who knows? They might be even jealous for him.

My friend Dada, since you defend the right to express our anger, beware of the possibility that if I let myself free I will beat the living daylights out of all of them and you would see me on the evening news behind bars. Get this: she felt sorry for him! Anyway, I declare this officially: one day I’ll get rid of this body (if I’m not already gone now), no matter what that means. But I’ll first seize life with those hands of mine, I’ll think with this mind of mine, I’ll stand on the street with these legs of mine, I’ll swear at the idiots with this voice of mine! I’ve got so much to do!