LIVE IN FREEDOM (NOT IN ISOLATION)

29.06.04


Your resilience and your patience are tested in many other situations as well, when you decide to abandon the comfort of your house, which has been adjusted to your needs, and have your holidays elsewhere. Whether your holidays are going to be relaxing depends to a great extent on what you’re going to come across at your final destination, because even if you have secured comfortable accommodation there are always surprises that might prove you wrong. In that case, you have to face things with optimism, in order to manage, wherever needed, to be inventive and find the ways to guarantee the independence you need; and this is how your independence equals your dignity.

Somebody comes and says: ‘Don’t worry, man, I’ll help you out’. You answer: ‘Thanks a lot for your help but I’d rather have everything else I need in order not to depend on you.’. This constitutes one more reason why we should address those who are –supposedly- entitled, either as officials or as simple fellow citizens, to undertake our social integration, although they wrongly believe that help is the solution to the problem of autonomous living or cohabitation.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN


My friends and I at noon on Saturday. Vassilis, Pete or Panayiotis, Fani, Anders (Swedish) and I. We started our trip to Nafpaktos around 12 o’clock. If you ask me what I want to record, I will give you this answer: absolutely nothing. Some times, it’s enough to just say that you have a good time. On the other hand, I reckon that this recent trip is a good pretext to talk about the worries that wear me down every time that I am to travel.
When I say that they wear me down, I don’t mean at all that they dominate over my desire for action-escape but they definitely beset my little mind in the way that thunders strike a tree in the middle of nowhere during a rainy summer night. Trees don’t give in that easily. Neither do I. From that point of view, I can still get by with the beast I was talking about a few days ago. If I were to be scared to death every time a tiger screamed, I would now be lying on my bed, deprived not only of the ability but also of the desire to go out there and live. Of course, things are not exactly as I would like them to be. If they were, I would have no reason to be talking about my life. I wouldn’t even have the time to do that. I would be somewhere else. Not sitting on a desk.
Whatever happens, I pass on all those things, because those of you who just follow my way of thinking, as well as those of you who have been in a position similar to mine, know them already.

TRIP OR TROUBLE?

Those three days were really relaxing. We needed three hours to reach our destination and another three hours to go back. This was a short trip, comparing it to other trips I’ve done. I trusted my beloved car on this trip for the very first time.

I didn’t drive of course. I’m still scared of long distances and I get very tired when I have to make them. It’s this stupid nuisance (yes, from that point of view I’m really a nuisance) that tightens my legs like ironworks in every movement I make. [This happens even when I press the keys on the computer but what can I do? When I was little, I had the same difficulty when I played the piano, until my mother decided that I should stop the lessons.]
Anyway, Panayiotis and Vassilis were the ones to drive my car. I was relaxing in the seat next to the driver. Well, sort of relaxing. The loo is always a problem for travellers. I had to train myself enough to solve that problem. I used to need a regular toilet no matter what. Now I just need a tree or a prop and I feel really lucky that I’m a man.

We travelled once to Galaxidi (Natasha remembers that). Well, I had to contain myself for, like, 9 hours, since we were driving back and forth before we found a place to stay for the night. I was about to explode. I was thinking of a million other things in order to forget about this or even console myself. Among other things, I was thinking of the poor puppies that might have the same problem every time that their owner forgets to take them out and they know that they must never do ‘it’ at home. It’s a bit sad to think that your life might be similar to that of a dog. Personally, I have no problem with that. I love puppies so much that I could even suffer for them.

Many people wonder about my patience regarding such issues. Some times I wonder with myself. But I also wonder with some people’s stupidity, since they refuse to put themselves in your shoes. My so-called ‘friend’ Yiannis was also travelling with us then. ‘Shit yourself then!’, he was answering. And I’m asking you here: Were I to blame if I peed on his face? That’s what I’m trained for: not to be in need of any such idiot. Of course I had to pay the price for this ‘test’ to which I put myself. Throughout the years and because of the urine retention, I had kidney stones. Last year, I had a lithotripsy and some of them were destroyed. Very painful procedure, not only when you have to undergo it but later as well, when you go home and lie down on your couch, ready to watch some TV or to take your time and sip some coffee. The pains that come start to hurt very much and they are unbearable for your resilience; you come at the end of your tether. The only thing you can do is smile.