THE END

16.04.05

My dear fellow travellers. I come back with this text not only to leave your life, or even the bloggers’ community, for good. The time has finally come for me to stop talking so directly about myself.
My decision to desist from blogs does not need explanations and justifications. It’s simple. I decide to move on, intending to do equally important things that those of you who know me well already or those of you who met me recently through this almost daily contact might imagine. I would like to thank you all once again. Without understanding it, you helped me figure out a lot of things about myself, mainly as regards what I can succeed in and what heights I can reach.

It’s true that I can’t forget that this blog was created for specific reasons and this is why I couldn’t finish this personal work of mine but by being clear now about what I have been implying through my stories.

Deriving from my personal experience, I am proud to state that in this world where I’m living there is not or there should not be any person with a disability in the way that we tend to describe them or meet them, i.e. like shadows or figures or existing things inside our body or the body of the person next to us. Noone is born absolutely capable of doing everything. Noone has the same opportunities, abilities or capacities with the other. Despite that, everyone of us has the ability to choose the eyes with which he or she will look at oneself and at the other person both when we are awake and when we are dreaming.

Disability is nothing but a situation that we have invented all by ourselves (disabled or not), trying to explain the difference, the hardship, the things that are impossible to understand or the random facts. Most of the times, we decide to speak of ourselves starting with the word ‘not’. We say: ‘I cannot walk, I cannot see, I cannot hear’. This is the worst thing we can do. Without understanding it, we align our existence with a huge problem that is impossible to solve precisely because we insist on emphasizing on the problem and not on its solution. We should say: ‘I can become someone great’, persuading ourselves and the others that we have equal rights and obligations. That’s the only way we could really help you understand that there is indeed a reason to rate us highly as people who claim a place in the empire of able-bodied people. And I go on saying: ‘Despite being a person with a disability, I have the right to life and therefore I can, if I want to, go for a walk to the supermarket and then just look at the ceiling of my house. Nonetheless, the important thing is that with much effort and a little luck I can achieve thousands of things so as to have absolutely no reason to feel sorry for myself or for the people who are in my place or in an even worse state. When this happens, I stop being –or being considered- problematic and I can laugh at you who might still believe the opposite. (Somewhere deep inside I suspect that, if you look straight into my eyes you may even fall in love with me. Would you really take that?)’.

I take you by the hand before you ask me anything, before you wonder whether my words are political or not. You are ready to talk to me about the movement again. What movement? The one of the people with a disability. That’s where the wrongdoings begin; that is my answer to you. From the insiders. From the people who take advantage of their disability to make money. Not all people are the same, luckily. There are people who really fight, knowing how to claim things. I don’t belong to them either. I have done very few things to be considered a fighter. I was never a rebel with a weblog, as the ‘Postman’ wrote for me and the other bloggers. I’m just a worried passer-by and my decision to ‘quit’ this weblog proves the truth of my words. Of course, I couldn’t say goodbye but with a song, a Greek one this time. I was looking for something but I found something else. Never mind.

If you don’t find a place for yourself in a wrecked country
If wishful thinking is not enough for you
If you don’t find serenity in a magic dream-catcher
If an armful of prison’s cells are not enough for you

Then what a pity, what a pity, what a pity
You are excessive and you breathe your last
Then what a pity, what a pity, what a pity
You fit nowhere, you fit nowhere at last

If you don’t find yourself in a stupid joke
If a cruel prayer is not enough for you
If you don’t find room in an empty brothel
If a broken body is not enough for you

Then what a pity, what a pity, what a pity
You are excessive and you breathe your last
Then what a pity, what a pity, what a pity
You fit nowhere, you fit nowhere at last, nowhere at last

Thank you for being able to find room for yourselves in the pages of my weblog