I was late for work today. I am not used to doing this and I didn’t quite figure out why I did this. Luckily, nobody said anything. It is not that terrible, if you get to think of how many ways the employees find in order to skip work during the day, which is something that I never do, both because I don’t want to as well as because I can’t really slip out without somebody getting wind of me. No matter how I move, I become perceptible right on the spot; and this has always been a problem for me. Ever since I was a little one, I was in the mood for fleeing and imagining that I run to countries where I could meet the cowboys who break in horses in the wild West, living with their wives, their children, their dogs and their weapons (in which case, I believe they would aim at ‘breaking in’ their wives first and then their animals – no, I certainly don’t mean that a woman is an animal; a woman can be equally wild from time to time, though, don’t you think?)
Whatever the case, if I attempted to vanish, I would be found in zero time. When you are a wheelchair user, you stand out whether wanting it or not and most people remember you. You don’t get away with it, even if you change your sex! Mrs. Nikolouli and Mr. Chardavellas could lose their job because of you. At the place where I live (Vrilissia), it often occurs to me to be greeted by people who I don’t know or who I don’t remember having met. But they do, even if they've met me only once. See what I mean now? Just when I am carefree, looking nowhere, somebody comes and tells me: ‘How are you doing, Nicky,is everything all right?’ (It really gets on my nerves to be called ‘Nicky’. As if I am still a baby!). I do have this problem, I admit it, but, apart from that, I am also very easily scared. If someone hits my back out of nowhere, I jump up as if some crocodile bit me. This is caused by the ‘Moro’ syndrome (many of you have heard about it), which I don’t know if I spell right but I have been suffering from this ever since I was a child and it makes me react even to simple yet sudden noises as if they were 4 times more powerful! This is truly embarrassing, because everybody regards you as a fool (go and explain then!). Especially when you go to the cinema or theatre and you ‘jump up’ at sudden words of the actors or at the noises of the virtual shots and explosions.
I remember once when I had gone to see The Fugitive with Harrison Ford and I was so scared at some point, that I almost fell from my seat. The people from the back row bent down to hold me. I was really ashamed but I also wanted to laugh at myself.
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