FEVERISH THOUGHTS

03.02.05


I can finally stay in front of my computer and write some more crap. I am still feverish (38 degrees) but I feel all right, if you think that this was 39 and a half yesterday. If the indications of the quicksilver were translated into TV ratings, I would definitely make a big success on the small screen. I’m sick of my life here, from the couch to the bed and vice versa. I hadn’t caught a cold for more than two years. Now I’m completely stuck with it.

A little while ago I saw Pulp Fiction again. My father got it from a Sunday paper. He asked me to watch it together. I told him ‘Nah, don’t bother’. I don’t know why but I wanted to watch it again all by myself. Well, I couldn’t do a greater PhD on Tarantino. His films are the example of beyond-text-narration in cinematography. So I do that PhD. What will I be afterwards? A tarantinologist or some expert on cinema theory that everybody will hate?

I missed my job. I want to be with lots of people. I don’t like sitting at home like an old man. I have had a lot of time to think lately. I decided that my future profession must guarantee social exchange for me. All right, I’m not very patient with the others but that can be fixed. It’s enough to try. I need a creative and definitely not a lonely job. The writer in me can wait.

Do you know who put those ideas in my mind? Jonathan Coe is sure to blame. I am finally reading his book ‘What a Carve Up!’ and I confirm my opinion regarding the loneliness of the writer. Well, I am already strange enough and I don’t want to push it to the limit. Social exchange is a compass for a traveler like me. From that point of view, even that fact that part of my job is to pick up phonecalls gives me the right to believe that I’m on a good way. Many citizens might be swearing at me every time that the gardener is late in pruning their tree but they try to communicate with me at the same time. In the end we always say: ‘Thank you’ – ‘You are welcome’.