GOD BLESS THE STORYTELLER

29.05.04


I preferred not to write anything yesterday. I came back from work and ran off with my sister to Ilioupolis (a suburb of Athens). I stayed at her place until late and when I got bored, I called a taxi to go back to my ‘village’, Vrilissia (a suburb of Athens). I arrived quite quickly, because the streets were (maybe I thought they were) empty. The taxi-man was quiet enough and, now that I come to think of it, it is rather unfair of me to call him taxi-man instead of taxi driver, because most of the words that end in –man seem to me a little derogatory (think of the coffee-man, the garbage-man, the barracks-man and so on).

Let’s call him a driver then, although this word is not enough to describe what exactly kind of vehicle he drives. Between you and me, I would prefer that he flew an airplane, since I miss flying. So, this really lovely gentleman seemed to me a bit lovelier than he was, simply because I am totally biased against his colleagues, who I luckily happen to meet rarely, since I use the tube or my car more.
Most of them should go see a psychiatrist. I am just giving a friendly piece of advice. It is not bad, anyway, to visit one’s personal psychiatrist. (Believe me, if Woody Allen didn’t exist, I would have a completely different opinion on psychotherapy.).

First: taxi drivers talk non-stop. As if they are closed in basements for like 20 hours a day at least. Second: monologue is not enough for them but they go crazy for conversations. Third: conversation should derive only from their monologue, since every person who disagrees with their views has no right to participate in the conversation and is punished with 30% more chatter for the rest of the route. Fourth: in their majority, they become very indiscreet and oppressive. What interests them is mostly to satisfy their curiosity. Fifth: none of the above is always true, because some of them don’t even stop to pick you up when they see you on the streets sitting on your wheelchair. Let’s accept that the fifth version here regarding the outcome of things is rarely verified now, in view of the changes noticed recently in our country.

Let’s assume that we have already entered the taxi at the end of an exciting night. We could listen to a lot of crazy little things, while sitting next to the driver. I tried to recall one or two and summarize them in the following paragraph:
‘Don’t be sad, son. My nephew had an accident too. (How did you end up with this problem?) We went to all those places like England and Germany and they told us he would be all right but you are in a better condition. You can stand. He can’t even go to the bathroom. But science is a big thing and God even bigger. That’s why I tell you, son: have high hopes and everything will turn out all right. You are looking at a person who fought in Vietnam and fell from parachutes. I thought I was killed every now and then and was severely injured on my leg and was literally dragging myself for 5 years. Listen to what I am saying. In 4 years at most, I assure you, you will all be walking. Life goes round and round, you know. Do you go to school? Oh, University! And what do you study? Mass Media? Don’t tell me you want to be like Chadjinikolaou? Oh! You attend graduate studies, huh? And you are stuck on a computer screen and on the internet all the time? Technology is great, my friend. Soon those computers will bring us our lunch right in front of us. We won’t be getting out of the house if not for cigarettes. Let this go, man; so I said I would quit the damn thing. They say smoking is even harmful to one’s sexual life. Instead of sleeping three times with your wife, you do it once, and this even ‘half’. Oh, is your willy fully operational? Oh, yes? You mean normally? Way to go, way to go!’

That’s where I go mad. I am almost ready to ask, ‘Why man, are you interested?’. Then again, I think about it. I cool down a little and wait for the right moment to come. I take advantage of the situation, in order to get information on the creatures of the night. All that I find out are some times exciting and some not. Most of the times, I think that he is lying 100%. Stories told a thousand times by storytellers like me. I do this on my screen, they do it on their steering wheels. I am no liar. I am a storyteller. There is a little difference between them.