TIME FOR WHINING

02.11.04


I’ve become angry those days. I am not arguing with people, neither am I blaming them. I’m just a bit aloof. I get the impression that I will pay for this behaviour of mine but I couldn’t care less, to say the truth. It would be wise to refer to a specific event.

Yesterday I was asked to attend the making of a show during which the video we made in the centre of Athens would be presented. The show is programmed for Sunday noon but the shoot will be made in the studio tomorrow. So they called me on the phone to ask me to go there and I refused. I don’t know if there was some specific reason to do that but I said: ‘No, thank you. I will watch the show on television.’. I told them that they really gave me a hard time. That was true. On Friday they asked me to attend a third exterior shoot as well, saying that they had to have more outside scenes. I refused as well, since this was not part of our agreement. Nonetheless, I gave them the phone number of a good friend, Athina, who accepted to attend the rest of the shoot instead of me.

I was angry because I understood once again that some people who are professional journalists just want to use you. They told me: ‘We definitely want you there for a last shoot’. They didn’t ask me if I had the time or if I was in the mood. They actually didn’t ask me at all. They demanded my participation. And I am angry with people who demand things from me. They had got the impression that I’m some coward and that I’m crazy for shows. The showman himself talked to me on the phone. I explained him that I don’t have more time, because I work in the mornings and I am also busy with my graduate course. As soon as he listened to that, he stopped talking to me as if I was some dupe, especially when he found out that I’m one of them.

Seeing things from a different point of view, I understood that my behaviour was kind of hostile. I regretted refusing to go to that show. I get the impression that the subject with the inaccessible Cathedral will cause a great ‘storm’. Maybe that was why I wanted to avoid the direct opposition. I don’t even want to bid the priests good morning. I’m afraid of them as ‘God’s people’. Not all of them are malicious, I know. I just avoid even looking at them. I’m gripped by the same phobia every time I look at a woman who pretends to be a diva or a cat (yes, I’m speaking of the well-known animal) that attempts to blind my dog with her nails. There are some people who make me defensive against them, no doubt. That’s why I regretted that I won’t be present at the shoot of the show, because I will not be able to defend myself in case someone attempts to prove me wrong or say something bad about me when I’m not there.