All Along The Watchtower

11.11.04

Ever since I’ve started this blog, I’ve ended up to a specific conclusion. Your participation is inversely proportional to my mood. Whenever I am angry or sad, all of you run to make some comment on my bad mood either to console me or to advise me of something or just to tell me that you have been in my shoes. On the contrary, I get the impression that my joy makes you feel awkward. It could be said that positive feelings are proved to be more personal than negative ones.

I imagine that many of you might say that I’m happy for no reason, as if it’s not important to be photographed next to public faces of to receive a letter from them, even when it comes from the other end of the world. This is why you decide not to take part in a dialogue that is none of your business, according to you. Your absence causes mixed feelings to me. On the one hand I’m sorry to understand that I might sound boring and on the other I’m unbelievably happy when I can take advantage of this absence of yours in order to take a breath, refraining from daily writing which, let’s face it, wears me out.

Forgive me for being descriptive again but I picture myself walking (yes, I can even walk with my imagination) all along an endless corridor next to a window equally huge that allows the sunrays to get through. There are open doors –the one next to the other- opposite the window, all along the corridor as well. Those doors lead to rooms less bright but not dark. As I go from one room to the other, I figure out that my legs step on black-and-white marble squares that form a giant chessboard. I don’t need much to become a pawn. And yet I’m not one. I’m the owner of a deserted tower. I’m the crazy owner of a deserted tower. I’m so insane that I hear voices expressing my thoughts before me. Those voices could only belong to you.