ON BRACKETS

22.03.05


Two little hairs curled up at the end of my washbasin, forming brackets. I don’t know how many times this must have happened without me noticing it. I wound up philosophizing once again in the bathroom just like that, really out of the blue. To do that is really boring and a bit too hackneyed. Of course, I’m referring to the daily and repeated event of oversimplifying and also praising every sort of theories and things. It’s true that ideas come to your head at most improper times. If you ask me, I will answer that I don’t like that, I just accept it when it happens. Yesterday, for instance. I was shaved while listening to Sonic Youth. Everything seemed to be natural, until those small brackets were presented right in front of my eyes.

I had seen the importance of brackets very early (that’s why I use it very often in my texts). Brackets are there for something that must be said but can also be omitted, since their content are not equally important and interesting as the content of the rest of the text. Everything is all right until this point. But what happens in the case of a bigger, continuous, imaginary text, according to which our current and our future activities are constructed so as to make us able to say that we live exactly as the script says, a script that we are writing and in which we are starring without even understanding it?

We go a thousand steps further towards a direction unknown in theory, while we are trying to foresee and plan everything. And we do all that without paying attention to the brackets. At least this is how I personally understand the problem that deals with ranking desires and targets. That’s my problem. ‘I’m writing’ a multi-paged script of life and forget the brackets. Consequently, I have a hard time separating the important things from the less important things. They all look like ONE.

Most of the times, I have to lose or sacrifice something precious in order to understand what was the thing that I really needed or what was the thing or notion or idea thanks to which I could have gone even higher without material or other kind of loss. That’s when I figure out that I’m dominated by persistent ideas (like that about New York, for example), most of which are of symbolic nature. In fact, I should put myself in brackets, hoping to understand at some point what’s the meaning of the world that surrounds and forms my personality whether I like this world or not. I might then be more interested in ‘common’ things, politics, news etc etc.. Only then would my blog comprise objectively interesting texts and only then would it desist from dealing with a boring and repeated range of issues. I recognize that my last narrations are of very little interest to those who are not in my head or to those who don’t ‘experience’ me in the first place. The conclusion is that I must definitely put my (recent) self in brackets not because I want to exempt myself from life but because I want to see clearly all things that are useful and interesting and still exist around me and might have nothing to do with me in some strange way. When I achieve that, I would like you to acknowledge that for me.