I WILL BE HAVING A NICE TIME AND I WILL BE GETTING HIGHER AND HIGHER

26.07.04

To be honest, since I would not want to be considered naïve, I am not one of those who would not change a thing in their lives. I always want the best, even if I am being really neurotic some times. As for grandiloquent words like ‘I love my disability and I can’t live without it’, I never understood them. What do you happen to love, man? A thing that smothers you and makes you depend on others?

On the other hand, when I see some guys who have it all crying over spilt milk, I say: ‘You should be deprived of a few things in order to appreciate what you’ve got’. ‘You should get out of bed and go to work, stop shooting up, move in your own home and desist from expecting everything from your parents.’. ‘When you go to clubs and concerts, jump up and dance like crazy, as if it’s the last day you are having fun.’.

There are a few types of people who take everything for granted and this is why they are indifferent towards everything that has to do with disability. As if they’ve signed some kind of contract that will protect them from every impediment. As if they were born as the lucky ones of the human species. There are some other types of people as well; those are the ones who think they star in the world’s most tragic drama. When they experience moments of happiness, they insist on destroying them, watching the world through their own distorting glasses. They find everything horrendous and they think that everyone is to blame. They envy those who are happy with their lives, and they especially loathe their wealth, whether material or mental. They are fed up with the idea that there people who make money by doing what they dig. They are not thinking of how they will attach greater importance to the value of their personality so as to have what they want. On the contrary, they like underestimating the achievements of those who they envy. The worst part is that they do all this without understanding it, unconsciously that is, pretending that they are indifferent to the best result. Well, I don’t. I am not indifferent to the best result and I would certainly be happy to become an able-bodied person or the richest guy on earth or even ‘the star of stars’. Nonetheless, since things like that don’t happen from one day to the other or since they might never happen at all, I try to have fun with myself as I am now and not as I would like to be in the future. Furthermore, I say it again: nobody asks me whether I would like to be ‘this’ or ‘that’. I try, no matter what.